


Appease me.

by HogwartsToAlexandria



Series: Marie's Tumblr Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Break Up, Pre-Doctor Strange (2016), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 12:46:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19830523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/pseuds/HogwartsToAlexandria
Summary: After his accident Stephen disappeared on Tony and this is the fallout.Ironstrange Bingo 2019 Fill, O1: “Alcohol”Stephen Strange Bingo 2019 Fill, O4: “Stephen is missing.”Tumblr Prompt Fills Series, various ships to come.





	Appease me.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Descaladumidera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Descaladumidera/gifts).



> Originally posted on Tumblr, here is a fic prompted by the amazing Desca with the song Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy to use as inspiration for our boys.

Tony’s glass made a sound thud as he put it back on the counter. He didn’t hear it. 

He was sure he could do it without resorting back to alcohol. He was sure this was behind him. And yet, here he was, drinking without counting, losing himself as the same time as he lost touch with the world around him and everything that mattered to him, or used to matter?

Then again, he’d thought he was on the right track then. He’d thought he’d arrived somehow, that the train that should have wrecked had been steered the right way around and was now preparing to park, smooth and happy with a ring at the end of the tunnel to prove it all. 

To prove it’d been real. 

  


_ Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out _

_ Of my life? _

  


Tony tried to swallow the lump in his throat once more. It was no use, it wouldn’t budge; it was there to stay.

He gulped down the end of his drink, whiskey -  _ like his eyes _ …. Bullshit. 

He signalled the bartender for another and glared at him when he showed a slight hesitation, “M’grown-ass man, another.”

If he got a moment of sobriety anytime soon Tony would certainly hate himself and how he was acting, what he was doing to himself and others. If he got a moment. 

For now, the only thing that mattered was the next drink, the next gulp of liquor that brought him just that tad bit closer to the vision of clear-blue eyes and glass-sharp cheekbones.

The only thing that mattered the fact that inebriated as he was, nothing made much sense anymore and even less concepts like reality versus dream - Tony could picture a world where Stephen was still there and no one was miserable. 

  


_ I cannot wake up in the morning _

_ Without you on my mind _

  


He could fantasize about a reality where they were still together and happy - he could summon images of Stephen’s smile, of Stephen’s neck bowing with the strength of his laughter, of Stephen’s hands clutching his. He form all these images in his mind and forget that was the only place where they remained, intact, if a bit faded. 

Stephen’s hands, the heart of the matter and the matter that broke everyone’s hearts - “We were barely lovers,” and “You care  _ so _ much, don’t you.” 

The hardest goodbyes Tony had ever had to force himself through. And then he was gone, disappeared, not a trace of him anywhere, not a note for Tony, anywhere. 

  


_ I cannot go to the ocean _

_ I cannot drive the streets at night _

  


He’d watched the expressions on Pepper and Happy’s faces, then on Rhodey’s and even though he’d suffered through much of the same refusal to be helped from Stephen, Tony couldn’t bring himself to listen to them. He couldn’t bring himself to go to work, couldn’t bring himself to smile and make small talk with anyone. 

The tiniest things brought him back to the little time they’d spent together - the shine of a watch in the low light, a black bowtie on a faceless person on a magazine cover, a man three-days past his shaving deadline in the streets - and he cried. 

  


_ So you're gone and I'm haunted _

_ And I bet you are just fine _

  


He cried and he drank, till he didn’t know the taste of his tears from the taste of bourbon, vodka, martini, anything. 

He drank and he was put in cabs by the more cautious bartenders, left to stumble his way back to the Tower by the others. 

He was alone and never felt like this, this much hate and this much love battling inside of him; more regrets than even his body could handle, let alone his mind and a broken heart, exploded and bleeding continuously. 

  


_ Should've known you'd bring me heartache _

_ Almost lovers always do _

  


It went on like this for months. Tony secluded himself, the more time passed the less he seeked bars to get wasted, the more he preferred the desperate solitude and quiet of his floor. 

Good thing Pepper had the override codes for FRIDAY’s commands or she would have been kept out of her office and out of the abandoned labs after one more of Tony’s drunk all-nighters. Oh, and Tony wouldn’t be in the hospital right now - he’d still be face-planting in an indescribable puddle of his own excesses. 

That’s when he felt it - waking up in a squishy hospital bed, under cool sheets and soothed by the constant beeping of the heart monitor - a barely there touch down his neck.

  


_ Your fingertips across my skin _

_ You sang me Spanish lullabies _

  


His eyelids fluttered open, expecting to see Pepper asleep in a corner of the room or ready to sermon him one way or another - he was already gearing up for a fight. 

Instead, all he could do was sob.

Stephen. 

Stephen’s eyes, beautiful orbs of pain and love riveted on his own, holding his gaze like a parched man holds onto his last drop of water. 

Stephen, smiling and clean-shaven and astonishing. He couldn’t be real. Tony blinked despite the fear that the act alone would have Stephen vanishing. 

He could feel his hands shake wildly around the bars of the bed. He opened his eyes. 

Still here. 

He was still here and Tony couldn’t even smile. He studied Stephen’s face - so much healthier than the last time he’d seen him. He tuned his buzzing ears to the faint sound of his breathing, tried to match it with his own to stave the panic attack he could feel forming in the dark corners of his mind.

Tony eventually raised both his hands to brush over the other man’s cheeks, shocked to feel skin and warmth where he’d only managed void and depression with the figments of his imagination he’d fed off for months. Real. 

A tear escaped his willful blankness and Stephen exhaled shakily.

“You look like shit,” Stephen gave him a small smile and past the shock of hearing his voice Tony sobbed again.

He let his forehead fall to the top of the other man’s chest, resting his face against the proof of another heartbeat besides his own - ringing in the room. 

Hello,  _ my almost lover _ .

“What are you even wearing?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'll make this a series so it's easier to navigate as there will certainly be several pairings involved!
> 
> Also, find me on [Tumblr](https://hogwartstoalexandria.tumblr.com/) and you can send me some prompts of your own, the list of my ships is in my description, my ask box is always open :)


End file.
